DISCLAIMER: All the views in this post are of my own and I am not pinpointing anyone in particular. You may not agree with them but since you decided to read my blog please just deal with it.
Don't know why but I have this strong urge to write down my thoughts on boy-girl relationships. Maybe it's because I have friends suffering from relationship problems and I myself, is currently in a relationship and sometimes I face relationship problems too.
Well, I have been noticing that more and more people are getting in a relationship at a very young age and for young I mean like in Upper Primary which is like 11 years old?!
My first reaction was
Comeon man, when I was 11, getting close with guys was rather awkward, having a rumour with a guy was so embarrassing and holding hands with them was EEEEEEEE. All I care about at that time was having friends, finishing my homework on time so that the teachers could not call my parents to complain, playing and sleeping and I know almost nothing about boy-girl relationships. Times have since changed and so are the mindsets of all these xiao mei mei(xmm) and xiao di di(xdd). I am seeing these xmm and xdd posting mushy stuffs on each other Facebook walls or posting statuses saying how much they love each other, how much they miss each other and also posting pictures of them kissing and then when they breakup (which is usually a few months or even days) they post statuses on Facebook about how sad and broken they are.
In my mind I was like
As if they really feel so sad and heartbroken when some of them actually get into another relationships faster than i can buy clothes. =.=" It's like being in many relationships is something to proud and boastful of. It's playboys and playgirls like them that makes the whole romantic and serious love relationships like some sort of game or joke. As the saying goes, 男的不坏女的不爱 (girls tend to get into a relationship with bad boys), sometimes I think that good girls deserves to get hurt when they know they are together with someone who is just toying with their feelings. I am not saying that all the bad boys and girls will remain bad forever and this kind of puppy love or play-play relationship won't last but let's be realistic, how many people are married to the one that they are in a relationship or in love with in primary or secondary school? The answer is hardly and I actually respect and envy those that manged to come so far because it just shows how strong and unwavering their relationship is, especially since I give my all in a relationship. And hence, it really disgust me and pains me to know how some people actually think that it's alright to toy with other feelings and hurt people in relationships. I have heard people saying that they get into a relationship to get over their ex and some even say that it is just because they just don't wanna be alone. -.-" THIS IS JUST SO WRONG!! Since when being in a relationship is like no longer about love anymore?
For me, I only got into a relationship when I was in Secondary 3 and I had only 2 boyfriends so far. One I was with for a day and the other is my current one (which was a playboy in the past but had since change for the better) It was considered early for me since my daddy kept telling me to only get a boyfriend in university or something as he wanted me to focus on my studies but I kinda defied him. Sorry dad. Despite the fact that I was only with 2 guys, I had my fair share of problems and I heard too many reasons for breakups from my friends and myself so I am gonna compile it and list 3 bullshit reasons and maybe 3 legit reasons for a breakup.
Top 3 BULLSHIT reasons for a breakup:
1) My parents found out about our relationship and doesn't approve of it because we are too young (For the schooling ones especially). Actually I think this is the worst reason/excuse for a breakup. It's like please even if your parents know about it how many of them really said or threaten that you two have to breakup and how many of them will know about it if you don't openly declare your love/relationship on social platforms? I think those who uses such an excuses are whimps, dragging your parents into the picture so that you can feel less guilty about it or get out of the relationship without being labelled as a jerk/bitch or heartless. If your parents are really that strict you should know better than to get into a relationship and hurt the other party.
2) I think we should focus on our studies/careers first. Another lame excuse. -.-" It's not as if you can't spend time together studying instead of dating. For me, I scored rather well for my O'levels despite being in a relationship back then so who says we can't date but score well? Plus if you really think that studies comes first then why get into a relationship in the first place? If you think career is important, he/she can be the pillar of your support. Why think of your other half as a burden and get into a relationship with him/her if your career is so important to you and you don't want to have anything that will affect it. Contradicting much isn't it?
3) You deserve better. Hello, if you think you are not good enough for him/her and think that he/she deserve better than you why get into a relationship with him/her in the first place? If he/she accepts your love it means that he/she accepts you for what you are so breakup with an excuse that he/she deserves better? In addition, if you think that he/she deserves better why not improve yourself and be a better man/woman that you think is worthy of him/her? It's just a bullshit reason for a breakup.
3 (maybe)LEGIT reasons for a breakup
1) Our personalities don't match. Personality is something that shapes us over time and it's not easily changeable. For example, if both are hot-tempered and stubborn, it can be quite difficult to give in during quarrels. But then if you really love each other, you find a way to solve the differences. Sometimes it's these differences that actually binds 2 person together
2) You are not the one for me. A rather crude and straightforward way of breaking up. Sometimes, you can't decide whether he/she is the one for you until you spent enough time with him/her and know all the habits, whether is it good or bad.
3) I have fallen in love with another person. A reason that is to be condemn and is like the jerk-iest reason ever but sometimes you can't control your feeling right? If you actually fall in love with another person it's either you don't love your current one anymore or you are no longer committed to your relationship. If you really love your current or is serious about the relationship, it's not so easy for a third party to intervene in and neither is it so easy to actually fall in love with another person.
Of course I am not saying it's wrong to be in a lot of relationships. If you are serious in every relationship but realise that both of you are not suited for each other no matter how hard you tried, I have nothing to say and I hope that you will find the right one soon. However, if you are those that actually fool around, shame on you and may karma strikes you for hurting and toying with other people's feelings when they given you their all just to get hurt by you .
Alright, that's all i have to rant for now. Thanks for reading! :)